it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize