its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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