The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
