I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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