actually, I'm a sock model
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
