One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
