He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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