he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
