Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
