I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize