I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We're like a lot better than the average bears
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
