Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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