so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
