He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
