Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
