It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
