apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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