who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
