just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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