Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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