I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
