apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
