dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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