i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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