i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
