New invention idea: vibrating tampons
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize