She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize