Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
