Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
