ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
is that a dick in a sweater?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
