Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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