so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Every concussion has its silver lining
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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