They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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