First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize