I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
