Ketchup is God's man juice
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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