Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
