can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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