My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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