Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
