are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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