It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
