I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
