I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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