My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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