even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
