She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wear drunk well.
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