fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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