I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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