i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i will never coherently bang her
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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