Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
