susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
