I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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