if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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