i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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